my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
