My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
