I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
