life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
