it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
