I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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