I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
