im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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