We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
