R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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