I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
