Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
