I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
