I hope mine doesn't look like that
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
