he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
