Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
