Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
True strength comes from lack of pants
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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