ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize