Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
