So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
