maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
