What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Since when is my clitoris pierced?