Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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