you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
