I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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