Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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