my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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