what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
