i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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