I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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