Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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