I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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