He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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