Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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