Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
