Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
