god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
