Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
