How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
