someone owes me an orgasm
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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