Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
