wat bout pragnant strippers??
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
