My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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