I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
