It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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