I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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