Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
