I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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