Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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