That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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