Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize