Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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(202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar. http://tfl.nu/npd2

Replies (7) Good night (2886) Bad night (778)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."

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(901): I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..." http://tfl.nu/hs8y

Replies (51) Good night (4708) Bad night (782)
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(917): View more from New York City

She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.

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(917): She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat. http://tfl.nu/3q22

Replies (19) Good night (865) Bad night (4380)
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(516): View more from New York

i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second

(631): View more from New York

i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead

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(516): i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second (631): i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead http://tfl.nu/vulg

Replies (28) Good night (3863) Bad night (962)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.

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(732): I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final. http://tfl.nu/j44u

Replies (9) Good night (5579) Bad night (1150)
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(937): View more from Ohio

how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?

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(937): how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on? http://tfl.nu/yug9

Replies (16) Good night (5077) Bad night (1111)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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(513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq

Replies (20) Good night (1795) Bad night (2653)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?

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(316): Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage? http://tfl.nu/r2cg

Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (1974)
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(516): View more from New York

I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.

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(516): I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/o20g

Replies (7) Good night (2556) Bad night (1194)
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(619): View more from California

Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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(619): Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance. http://tfl.nu/l10e

Replies (5) Good night (1462) Bad night (1309)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life

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(204): I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life http://tfl.nu/rqe5

Replies (7) Good night (1176) Bad night (687)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.

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(814): Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME. http://tfl.nu/nij2

Replies (6) Good night (1177) Bad night (490)
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(530): View more from California

I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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(530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9

Replies (5) Good night (1097) Bad night (624)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them

(937): View more from Ohio

Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

Sounds legit to me.

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(937): I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops. (1-937): Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them (937): Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them. (1-937): Sounds legit to me. http://tfl.nu/dn4f

Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (398)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.

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(505): While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/1ura

Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (161)

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