Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

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  (402): Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later. http://tfl.nu/06o9
  Replies (42) Good night (5944) Bad night (623)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The brown eye won't let me do that either.

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  (201): The brown eye won't let me do that either. http://tfl.nu/x635
  Replies (2) Good night (532) Bad night (2500)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (5970) Bad night (692)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?

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  (206): When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle? http://tfl.nu/8gva
  Replies (47) Good night (4989) Bad night (582)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1162) Bad night (4340)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked

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  (412): We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked http://tfl.nu/s4j7
  Replies (9) Good night (1869) Bad night (3014)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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  (701): and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies" http://tfl.nu/t57n
  Replies (4) Good night (2118) Bad night (872)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....

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  (540): I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name.... http://tfl.nu/37ao
  Replies (8) Good night (1114) Bad night (3294)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...

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  (716): I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom... http://tfl.nu/0ft1
  Replies (9) Good night (1014) Bad night (2563)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.

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  (423): There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears. http://tfl.nu/uyth
  Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (522)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free

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  (708): And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free http://tfl.nu/lgkw
  Replies (4) Good night (1817) Bad night (471)
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  (+81): View more from

  I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat

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  (+81): I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat http://tfl.nu/lmi0
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (480)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

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  (+44): I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal. http://tfl.nu/i10i
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (265)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens

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  (765): Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens http://tfl.nu/v1vn
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (246)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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  (407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx
  Replies (3) Good night (262) Bad night (419)

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