Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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