Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
