You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
