What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something