I will die if light touches me.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you