Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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  (323): just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/xr1e
  Replies (2) Good night (557) Bad night (951)
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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2887) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4704) Bad night (623)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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  (512): its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after http://tfl.nu/7p4f
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (5594)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5143) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

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  (619): It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot. http://tfl.nu/icc0
  Replies (7) Good night (3173) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.

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  (703): I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin. http://tfl.nu/zjl9
  Replies (6) Good night (3495) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional

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  (914): It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional http://tfl.nu/y54e
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (2069)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.

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  (715): I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great. http://tfl.nu/f48j
  Replies (9) Good night (1224) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.

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  (920): YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF. http://tfl.nu/pvmt
  Replies (12) Good night (2586) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.

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  (405): SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine. http://tfl.nu/9wmu
  Replies (3) Good night (1839) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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  (315): Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time? (540): Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude http://tfl.nu/szgw
  Replies (9) Good night (1049) Bad night (2260)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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  (860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx
  Replies (8) Good night (708) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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  (505): It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand. http://tfl.nu/gh3l
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (275)

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