is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
