I understand Curling. That high.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
