Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
