I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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