I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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