I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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