i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
