This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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