Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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