And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
