great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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