I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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